Bike Jokes Thread.

[Beeping-Sleauty]

howza'bout we end the Sunday on a upbeat note, with a few jokes, on-subject of course....

i'll kick it off:

"Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll just see about that..... get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analysed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border. A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina on the Mexican side of the border. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles"

[oldosc]

A man buys a AGGATU on ebay for £30 sues seller because it had scratch. Wins case because of description of goods act...20,000 wisper owners applaud verdict.

[Beeping-Sleauty]

I was speeding down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. The woman was driving very slowly uphill, honking her horn and shouting at me: "PIG! PIG!!". I flipped her the finger and shouted back "BITCH! COW!!". Then I collided with the pig!

[Django]

50 Cycles.

[Gaynor]

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a
virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've
been married ten times.?"

"Well, husband #1 was
a Sales Representative.
He kept telling me how great it was going to be.


"Husband # 2 was in Software Services. He was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.


"Husband # 3 was from Field Services. He said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.


"Husband #4 was in
Telemarketing. Even
though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.


"Husband # 5 was an Engineer. He understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.


"Husband #6 was from Administration.
He thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.


"Husband # 7 was in
Marketing. Although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.


"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist. All he did was talk about it.


"Husband # 9 was a
Gynecologist. All he did was look at it.


"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector. All he ever did was.......God I miss him.

"But now that I've married you, I'm so
excited."

"Wonderful," said the husband. "But why?

Said the wife: "You're with the GOVERNMENT..

This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

[keithhazel]

Originally Posted by Gaynor

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a
virgin".

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've
been married ten times.?"

"Well, husband #1 was
a Sales Representative.
He kept telling me how great it was going to be.


"Husband # 2 was in Software Services. He was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.


"Husband # 3 was from Field Services. He said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.


"Husband #4 was in
Telemarketing. Even
though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.


"Husband # 5 was an Engineer. He understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.


"Husband #6 was from Administration.
He thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.


"Husband # 7 was in
Marketing. Although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.


"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist. All he did was talk about it.


"Husband # 9 was a
Gynecologist. All he did was look at it.


"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector. All he ever did was.......God I miss him.

"But now that I've married you, I'm so
excited."

"Wonderful," said the husband. "But why?

Said the wife: "You're with the GOVERNMENT..

This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

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isnt this a "bike" joke thread ?...................

[Beeping-Sleauty]

yes folks, it is the one & only, world famous, trick cycling team.... the Sprockettes.....

[flecc]

Originally Posted by keithhazel

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isnt this a "bike" joke thread ?...................

That's what it's title clearly says.
.

[Beeping-Sleauty]

Always ensure you've got your favourite sounds when you're out and about.



or if you can't play an instrument.....

[oldosc]

it's daveinnit
being questioned by daved-powes constabulatery as to why at age 15 he has been cited in five devorce actions, and seven underage pregnant cases throughount the county
said" i gotta bike aint i"