Murder at Tesco's

indalo

Banned
Sep 13, 2009
1,380
1
Herts & Spain
MURDER AT TESCO'S

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front so the man opened his wallet, displaying only a single £1.00 coin that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco supermarket. There, he surprised her in the greengrocery section & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor, unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the fruit and veg section stumbled unexpectedly on to the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...




(You're going to hate me for this...)
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 @ TESCO'S



Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff; I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you.

Indalo
 

JuicyBike

Trade Member
Jan 26, 2009
1,671
527
Derbyshire
Where's the groan button....
 

Advertisers