The real creation story

indalo

Banned
Sep 13, 2009
1,380
1
Herts & Spain
This is Eve's story:


After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain..'

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

' Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless tit?'

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?


Indalo
 

flecc

Member
Oct 25, 2006
52,846
30,401
Maybe the opposite?

Having created Eve, as the first of it's kind a number of defects soon became apparent. So naturally God then built number 2 Adam, incorporating all the necessary improvements. God logically made Adam an opposite form to allow the breeding of offspring of both types, thus enabling the inferior form of the offspring to take on a degree of Adam's improvements over many generations. That inferior form may completely even catch up one day.

Now I'll go into hiding!
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
Maybe the opposite?

Having created Eve, as the first of it's kind a number of defects soon became apparent. So naturally God then built number 2 Adam, incorporating all the necessary improvements. God logically made Adam an opposite form to allow the breeding of offspring of both types, thus enabling the inferior form of the offspring to take on a degree of Adam's improvements over many generations. That inferior form may completely even catch up one day.

Now I'll go into hiding!
Hope you are still in hiding there Flecc...........I must have been more tired after my long drive than I thought to have missed this one .......haha very funny.....not .......keep your head down.......my missile is ready to launch at any more provocation.........:D :D

Lynda :)
 

flecc

Member
Oct 25, 2006
52,846
30,401
:D. I wondered why I didn't get an immediate reaction Lynda!

Thought for a moment I'd got away with it. :p
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
:D. I wondered why I didn't get an immediate reaction Lynda!

Thought for a moment I'd got away with it. :p

:D Think again Flecc ! .......but as Indalo has already pointed out to me........I really need to keep up........got to shake off this ' sunshine senility '........or should that be sangria .......

Lynda :)
 
C

Cyclezee

Guest
Hi Lynda,

Have you had a chance to get your leg over yet and have ride in the Spanish sunshine, or are you just lazing around in the pool all day;)
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
Hi Lynda,

Have you had a chance to get your leg over yet and have ride in the Spanish sunshine, or are you just lazing around in the pool all day;)

Hi,

You know me too well........plenty of both.......naturally.....nothing like a bit of sun to inspire me to relax and enjoy.......pools a bit cold........but the rides are always better in the sun :D
Great scenery too.....
How is YOUR weather.......chilly ? :)

Lynda :D
 
C

Cyclezee

Guest
Hi Lynda,

The weather here is cold, wet and windy over here with snow expected Friday. Wish I could be where you are right now, should be 20 degrees and sunny in Malaga tomorrow.
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
Hi,

Well......I've just heard its going to be a lot hotter here on friday :D
Looking forward to a bit more heat......should set me up for Christmas......:)

Lynda :)
 

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