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The next big masturbation story to break in parliament will concern Teressa May. It is well known by her closest allies that she does in fact have a penis. Each night, before snuggling up to Group 4 Phill, she wanks into a pool of tears shed by children who have been bitten by austerity...

They just delay and cover their tracks. What's happening with the enquiry into child abuse by establishment figurers? The one that has been chaired by numerous "tame" puppets? Kicked down the road until everyone except the victims have forgotten about it.

They aren’t stupid. They project an ugly conceited confidence that they are above the law and punishment. Probably with good reason because this turd is going to get away with it and the police will be vilified for finding his wankbank.

You are absolutely correct. Based on even less evidence, a regular employee of any company would have received a lecture stuffed full of synthetic moral outrage from someone of Green’s ilk, followed very quickly by dismissal. The hypocrisy is sickening.

From this morning’s BBC News I see that Wankgate continues to haunt one of this countries most senior figures, Damian Green. It is now alleged that the sessions of masturbation took place whilst the computer was logged into Green’s account and the wanks are punctuated by Green’s replies to...

I do and I also care about what remain voters think too.

.....and when they do, the fight tends to consist of telling those who voted to leave the EU that they lack the awareness to know what they voted for. This type of approach will never win anyone over.

At least that would be news. All I’m hearing at the moment is, Man gets engaged to woman and motorist has Renault car stolen. BORING.

I don’t know why people take out this type of insurance, I think it’s a total waste of money. It’s like taking out insurance in case your shoe comes off.

Knowing someone who’s bike had the software upgrade, im sceptical. He had another two motors after the upgrade. What did the Tasman cost? £2000 ish? You have had the bike 30 months and now it’s useless, so £66 / month. They think this is ok and what you should expect from a Kalkhoff? Well they...

Some points in here that I had forgotten about and now you have reminded me. I don’t need to see the messages, I’ll take your word for that Dave.

A statement was published some time ago stating that the issues with the Impulse motor had been resolved via a software update. Problems seemed to continue after that statement was made. Fake news implies lying. It is also a term which is gaining wider usage in order to discredit some genuine...

If that is happening, it’s not acceptable. The internet is a great platform for bringing issues to the attention of a wide audience. Before the days of internet forums, it was common practice to tell customers that their particular issue was a one off, or that they had never seen that fault...

Dear Joe, Thank you for your offer to assist me with my Panasonic model Pro Connect. Happily, the bike is once again working very well after the fault was traced to moisture in the handlebar controller. 50 Cycles have indeed provided me with good service over the past 9 1/2 years. Apart from...

That’s correct, there are quite a few who are happy to ride S pedelecs without complying with any of the legal requirements. As I’ve said, I’m not going to pass any judgement on that. Having said the above, what is it that puts these people off using a motor scooter without tax, MoT or...

So are you suggesting that it’s cheaper to run the 30 mph ebike because you wouldn’t take out insurance, type approval & registration? I’m not going to make a moral judgement on that, but if you are happy to go that route, there would be no difference in applying the same mindset to the motor...

I hope your wife is going to be ok. Good news regarding the scan, but a contradictory diagnosis from the Memory Clinic. That must be very frustrating for both of you and I hope that it is resolved with a favourable outcome. Best wishes to both of you.

I have just seen Simon Stevens (Chief Executive of the NHS) on the evening news. He was making a very eloquent and justified case for more money to be diverted to the NHS. He made repeated references to the Vote Leave bus which carried the £350 million promise. He was absolutely correct to do...

But it will be necessary to register & insure the ebike under discussion won’t it? Registering the ebike will involve obtaining type approval. That in itself will result in an additional cost for the fitting of lights, indicators, a number plate, upgraded brakes & tyres, plus the test itself...

Kalkhoff do indeed make excellent well finished bikes. Their motors on the other hand are Some of the worst we have seen in recent times.