That was better than the previous ones - just a few minor mistakes that most people wouldn't notice. I think you're still giving a bit too much info about things that don't need it. I would have have said. "It has a TFT display" and left it at that. Also the brakes "It has cable operated disc brakes that do the job pretty well, though hydraulic ones would work a bit better." Finally, I would have said, "It has 4" Chinese knobbly tyres that are very sure-footed on the road and grip really well on grass and loose surfaces" or something like that. No need to mention the brand, when nobody has ever heard of it. It's all flyshit really. What you said was OK.
The problem with cable brakes is that they go out of adjustment pretty quickly. They're always great when new and when you review a bike, but when your life depends on them after a few months of neglect, they can be sadly lacking in stopping power.
For your own information, the battery charge level indicators showed full. The red light is the last one to go out. It starts off green, green, green, red, then green, green, red, then green, red, then red, then red flashing, then nothing.