3 x truly awful jokes for Xmas

Woosh

Trade Member
May 19, 2012
21,377
17,344
Southend on Sea
wooshbikes.co.uk
Joke one (for Yorkshiremen):

Knock knock.
Who's there?
E-bike.
E-bike who?
E by gum, think ah've lost key t' battery....



Joke two (for Eddieo)

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Bosch.
Bosch who?
Bless you, you must have a cold coming on.


Joke three (good old Jewish one).

Marice Cohen dies. A saddened Mrs Cohen calls the Jewish Chronicle and asks for an announcement to be placed in that week's paper.
'What would you like to say Mrs Cohen ?' asks the young ads assistant.
'Oh, keep it simple'. she replies.'Just...Maurice Cohen has died.'
'Ah', says the assistant.' I don't know whether you know this Mrs Cohen, but we have a special offer on at the moment. Buy four words, get four words free. Would you like to add something else perhaps? Much loved, sadly missed? Something along those lines? '
Mrs Cohen thinks for a couple of minutes.
'Yes, she says. 'Write the following:

Marice Cohen has died. Electric bike for sale.'


Boom boom!
If anyone has got any (even worse) ones, maybe they'd like to add them to my fine collection. Preferably E bike related.
Merry Xmas everyone.

Hatti
 

RobF

Esteemed Pedelecer
Sep 22, 2012
4,732
2,312
Paddy goes to the bike shop for a new battery.

"That will be £300," says the assistant.

"Shop down the road sells them for £250," says Paddy.

"Go there then," says the assistant.

"I would," says Paddy. "But they have none in."

"Well," says the assistant. "When we are out of stock, ours are only £200."

"Great," says Paddy. "I'll come back when you've got none."
 

Old_Dave

Esteemed Pedelecer
Sep 15, 2012
1,211
2
Dumfries & Galloway
A man was walking down the road one day when his friend, rode up on an incredible shiny new Woosh electric bike

He was stunned by his friends great bile and asked, "WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The friend replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want!'"

The man nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fitted".


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