I am so sad......

[funkylyn]

I am so sad to hear tonight that one, maybe more, members of this forum have felt the need to leave through bullying and aggressiveness from certain other members.

Please guys, can we try to show a bit more respect to everyone and think twice before posting something that could be perceived as hurtful to someone else ?

I know how easy it is to get carried away and we are all passionate about our hobby, but....think first and re read before pressing the send button please.
We are all different, some a lot more outgoing than others, some more easily upset than others,.....and we must all take some responsibility for making sure we dont upset someone even maybe unwittingly....... me ?.....I'm not easily intimidated myself and can usually hold my own in mixed company.....but other people ARE easily intimidated.......
Oh, I dont know, its late, I'm upset about it I admit, I feel like being a lot more forceful about what I really want to say.....but, for now, I will leave it at that, and hope it might make someone who might want to, think twice before being so aggressive and antagonistic

Lynda

 

[Blew it]

Lynda,

You should take heart, very few people actually 'leave' the forum, some, not wishing to be party to the rough 'n' tumble of direct engagement, will simply revert to lurking, but still enjoy the type of postings they like to read. One thing I quickly realised, was the amount of thread 'views' showed that my own contributions were viewed by a far wider audience than that indicated by the replies, much as those replies are gratefully received.

I'm afraid public forums are very much like the comments on local newspapers, those who shout loudest will always dominate. In contrast, those who are seeking knowledge will naturally filter out the fluff and dross. The very large number of visitors to this forum are no exception to the rule.

In my travels around the local area, almost everybody I chat to are friendly agreeable folk, non combatant, uncompetative and happy to accept any advice I can offer. I suspect Lynda, any of these people would adopt some sort of 'Jekyll -and-Hyde' alter-ego when venturing on to a public forum.

One thing I learned a long time ago, when in debate with others, we sometimes have to allow others to 'win' a point or two, even though we know they are wrong. If we don't allow such 'wins', then the debate is immediately terminated, all participants then star-burst to another subject, nothing is learned, no knowledge is gained.

You may also have noticed, that those who enjoy an admirable command of the English language, will sometimes misuse the power of their eloquence to batter others into submission, sometimes for no other reason than a difference of opinion.

Needless to say, these frequent 'I-know-more-than-you' debates are doing a great disservice to the electric bicycle industry in general, I really wish that contributors to this forum would consider how their postings are viewed by the many unregistered visitors.

Be assured Lynda, the public at large are more than capable of making their own decisions on which machine would most suit their needs, their savvy enough to see through the fog of personal opinion.

Keep posting Lynda, you've already established your own followers.

Regards
Bob

 

[steveindenmark]

I think I can be a little direct at times but I hope I never get to the stage where people feel intimidated to the point where they have leave the group because of it.

I have seen this in other groups (motorcycling) where people have left because of the odd individual who cannot grasp that other people have different ideas to them. It is such a shame because this is a hobby, it is not life and death.

From now on if I see people getting too aggressive on here I am going to tell them, politely. I hope everyone takes the same stand and if I am first in the firing line for posting this then so be it. I am a big boy and I can take it.

Steve

 

[funkylyn]

Thanks Bob, you are absolutely right, however Scarrabri has actually left and I for one will miss his distinctive posts.
I'm more than happy to allow the occasional ''win'' but I'm not happy to stand by and condone bullying.
However......I personally have never been bullied........and wouldnt stand for it if anyone tried, and oh dont worry,there is no way that I would stop posting .....I enjoy the friendly banter too much ....never mind the mine of great information on here which is fantastic and appreciated, but I agree with Steve that we should at least, as I already have, point it out when anyone gets too 'aggressive', and hopefully nip it in the bud and then we can all just get on with enjoying our favourite hobby

Lynda

 

[eddieo]

well if its because of me I resent the implication of bullying. I have written to Scarrabri and lets hope he reconsiders? But I think some of you have a convenient and selective view of the facts!




"I have just seen Lynda's post and I guess your reason for leaving is me...Now honestly, Please please reconsider! its just chatter? a bit of cut and thrust livens things up? no harm intended?

You started it to be truthful ,in the crank drive thread saying you pissed yourself and what garbage I was speaking etc... I had said nothing to deserve that to be honest..so that is when I got full on? But its only chatter and a bit of fun on the most part?

we are a small band of active enthusiasts and cant really afford to lose members. so I am sorry if I upset you and please dont leave...

was it the funky pigeon as I thought you liked that! lol

best wishes Eddie"

 

[banbury frank]

Hi

My Mum God rest her soul told me when I was being Bulled at school

sticks and stones can break your bones but words cant hurt you

Please take all postings with a pinch off salt and not as personnel attacks

Please sit on the side for a while then come back Refreshed

I think this forum is fantastic as a supplier I feed in Ideas and look for feed back

It helps me develop our products for real customers

That is what the forum members are

Frank

 

[lectureral]

sticks and stones can break your bones but words cant hurt you

With all due respect to your Mother (and mine who used to say the same thing), Frank, I have always thought this expression the least true of all Mothers' sayings. Well (or badly) chosen words can wound for a lifetime - at least a broken bone takes only a few weeks to mend. I remember a friend who was told by the wife of a good friend of his that nobody liked him and proceeded to tell him, over about 15 minutes, exactly why. He still dwells on this conversation which occurred, now, 20 years ago.

 

[JuicyBike]

I started a forum once. Just me in it. I didn't allow others in.

Just me.

It's going really well, though sometimes I misinterpret what I write and get all offended by my own comments to myself. There's a period when I just ignore myself, but I know eventually I'll be back...

 

[timidtom]

I started a forum once. Just me in it. I didn't allow others in.

Just me.

It's going really well, though sometimes I misinterpret what I write and get all offended by my own comments to myself. There's a period when I just ignore myself, but I know eventually I'll be back...

I'm really very, very cross. Drat. Bother. Trudget. I was going to post a very similar message. Not only are there very knowledgable people on this forum and people with a sense of humour and people who are friendly there are people who are mind-readers and beat me to the funny posts. I shall sulk. I will stamp my foot. Trudget, bother and drat! Nurse! My tabelts! Now! And, if anyone even notices that typo I will be even more upset. Must go for a ride before that black cloud opens its drawers ...
I'll get me coat ...
Love you all,
Tom

 

[JuicyBike]

Bullies are best ignored.
Written words are useless at communicating feelings.
Forums with a lot of engineers, mainly male membership and essentially about giving one and other advice are always going to have their explosive moments.
But there's never any excuse for rudeness or intolerance and the value of women members during such exchanges is clearly witnessed above. Lynda I love you. Forum I love you.

 

[banbury frank]

Hi
lectureral

Nice to Know that we can have a discussion without Making it a Battle off it
We are all human and have different experiences in life Whether it be Bully's or what E bike we ride



Frank

 

[Graeme]

Thanks to Lynda for raising the issue, well done, and thanks to Bob for a well balanced and insightful reply.
I feel that written media is such a blunt instrument, there are a lot of 'unknowns' we have to assume certain things and read between the lines etc. and sometimes the writer and or the reader don't 'get it'. If you know what I mean? For example, an enthusiastic cheeky chapie may well just be doing what comes naturally to him every day of his life, and that's ok, the people around him know what he's like and learn to interact with who he is. In saying that there is NO ROOM for blatant disrespect and bullying, but until we get to know each other a lot better there will always be the danger for misunderstanding.
I don't doubt that there are bullies in every walk of life and on every forum, but we need to identify carefully and correctly who they are not jump to the wrong conclusion about certain individuals.
I don't like bullies, but on the other hand I hate the feeling that I have to 'walk on eggshells'...tiptoe around and whisper in hushed tones for fear of offending anyone. Offence is 'taken', you don't have to take it, you can chose not to.
P.S. please don't write any nasty replies and if you don't like what I've said, shove off!!!...go figure... ;-)

 

[Cyclezee]

Please, please, please Eddieo, I beg you not to leave the forum, we would all miss your entertaining, highly informative and totally unbiased posts

Oops, sorry for the typo, I actually meant Flecc not Eddieo

 

[eddieo]

Please, please, please Eddieo, I beg you not to leave the forum, we would all miss your entertaining, highly informative and totally unbiased posts

Oops, sorry for the typo, I actually meant Flecc not Eddieo

Happy to leave if you want me to.......I alone am biased am I? Ha ha, Ha ha ha

Spend far to much time on here anyway, when I should be concentrating on my house move etc... (nightmare) I did say when we moved in here 18 years ago that I would only move when I had to (in a box) Its starting to feel like I may well achieve it, but a bit earlier then envisaged

 

[Oiseaux]

Thanks Bob, you are absolutely right, however Scarrabri has actually left and I for one will miss his distinctive posts.
.........................................
Lynda

Let us not forget that this is the second time that Scarrabri has been on the receiving end of some highly offensive, vindictive, personal and unpleasant comments from eddio, with the first one a month or so ago eye watering in its vicious reference to Scarrabari's personal life. Fortunately, someone explained after that first totally out of order comment how to put any particular poster on an ignore list and this I did, but as this comment will inevitably attract further highly abusive and personal comments, I also am going. It is particularly sad for me because I have learnt a lot on this site, made a decision, and was going to review but I saw this post of Lynda and now that I know that Scarrabari (who I particularly admired for his big hearted and funny postings) has left because of these personal attacks I feel quite sick.

 

[tillson]

In my travels around the local area, almost everybody I chat to are friendly agreeable folk, non combatant, uncompetative and happy to accept any advice I can offer. I suspect Lynda, any of these people would adopt some sort of 'Jekyll -and-Hyde' alter-ego when venturing on to a public forum.
Bob

I think this is a good point and probably explains why forum skirmishes break out. When you venture onto a forum you are a faceless and anonymous quantity to other members and you almost have an opportunity create a new personality for yourself. Because of this, inhibitions, self consciousness and personal reservations will be lowered, meaning that people will be more willing to contribute in both a good and a bad way. It would be interesting to see what would happen if everyone met in a biggest room and who would be the most vocal, the most aggressive or the most compassionate etc.

Because of this anonymity, I am surprised that people take the hump and leave the forum. When you receive an insult from another member, it can't be personal because they don't know you. It's just a few words written about a forum character that you have created. If you met that person in real life, the chances are you would get on well because of the common ground that you share through electric bikes, which is the reason that we are all here in the first place.

I wonder what we are all like, "in the flesh" so to speak.

Is flecc really a large overbearing man with a tendency for extreme violence?

Is it true that eddieo once stripped naked, smothered himself in honey and rolled down a hill to the gasps and shrieks of astonished on-lookers?

Is funkylynn a siren luring unsuspecting Pedelec-ers to their ultimate doom?

Do I spend my days in a dimly lit room painting empty Cornflakes boxes khaki and then stacking them neatly in various rooms around the house. Only pausing to peep through the curtains if I hear a lady in high heals walking past.

We don't know the answer to any of these question, or any questions about other forum members, so how can we insult each other on a personal level?

 

[Graeme]

tillson
Surely you know the answer to at least one of those questions...
I'm intrigued, where do you get all those empty cornflake boxes?
...and why Khaki?

 

[funkylyn]

Let us not forget that this is the second time that Scarrabri has been on the receiving end of some highly offensive, vindictive, personal and unpleasant comments from eddio, with the first one a month or so ago eye watering in its vicious reference to Scarrabari's personal life. Fortunately, someone explained after that first totally out of order comment how to put any particular poster on an ignore list and this I did, but as this comment will inevitably attract further highly abusive and personal comments, I also am going. It is particularly sad for me because I have learnt a lot on this site, made a decision, and was going to review but I saw this post of Lynda and now that I know that Scarrabari (who I particularly admired for his big hearted and funny postings) has left because of these personal attacks I feel quite sick.

Oh, dont worry, I hadnt forgotten that Oiseaux, which is why I thought enough is enough.
As I said to Brian last night,to reconsider, please sleep on it at least and then review how you feel before deciding.
The huge majority of people on this site are nothing but giving with no real intent to hurt anyone, ......of course we are all going to disagree at times and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that......or argueing..........I personally enjoy a good constructive arguement.......... just not the awful verbal abuse we have seen recently.
Hopefully it wont happen again.......as my dad used to say......dont let the b*****s get you down......

Lynda

 

[funkylyn]

Is funkylynn a siren luring unsuspecting Pedelec-ers to their ultimate doom?

Do I spend my days in a dimly lit room painting empty Cornflakes boxes khaki and then stacking them neatly in various rooms around the house. Only pausing to peep through the curtains if I hear a lady in high heals walking past.

We don't know the answer to any of these question, or any questions about other forum members, so how can we insult each other on a personal level?

Well......the ultimate maybe, but I would never describe it as doom....quite the opposite

I have heard of the cornflake fetish before Tillson, they say if you change colour occasionally it helps........

The Siren...ooops sorry, Lynda

 

[tillson]

I have heard of the cornflake fetish before Tillson, they say if you change colour occasionally it helps........

The Siren...ooops sorry, Lynda

Can't change colour I'm afraid, you see I am a serial khaki painter.......