Nice idea but...

[grasshopper]

Are you referring to a 'Jazz Woodbine'......

... could be ... not sure I give a s**t at this particular moment in time ... I've been in here a little while now ...

 

[neptune]

I never heard of a Jazz Woodbine, but it reminds me of an event concerning a concert that Stevie Wonder played in China. After a stunning performance, he asked tha audience if they had any requests. There was total silence, and then a little Chines guy stood up, and said,
"Play Jazz Chord."
Somewhat bemused, Stevie played a B flat minor chord. The guy stands up again,
"No, play Jazz Chord."
Stevie plays a B flat ninth.
"No, no, play Jazz Chord".
Getting a bit cheesed off, Stevie plays a progressive sequence on the pentatonic scale in B flat minor, finishing with a B flat ninth, with a suspended fourth, juxtaposed with B flat minor thirteenth.
"No, play Jazz Chord, Jazz Chord to say I wuv you.....

 

[Scimitar]

I have to agree with flecc.[That is perhaps a novelty in itself!] . Mankind needs to move on from the superstition of religion. "My powerful friend who lives in the sky is more powerful than your friend in the sky, and if you don`t believe me I will kill you." Religion is responsible for half the wars on the planet, the other half being fought over oil. I always say, religion is like an erection. If you keep it to yourself, its fine, but you`ll never make friends if you go around ramming it down peoples throats.

I see irony is dead around here. The second line might have been a clue I wasn't being entirely serious.

 

[smudger1956]

I never heard of a Jazz Woodbine, but it reminds me of an event concerning a concert that Stevie Wonder played in China. After a stunning performance, he asked tha audience if they had any requests. There was total silence, and then a little Chines guy stood up, and said,
"Play Jazz Chord."
Somewhat bemused, Stevie played a B flat minor chord. The guy stands up again,
"No, play Jazz Chord."
Stevie plays a B flat ninth.
"No, no, play Jazz Chord".
Getting a bit cheesed off, Stevie plays a progressive sequence on the pentatonic scale in B flat minor, finishing with a B flat ninth, with a suspended fourth, juxtaposed with B flat minor thirteenth.
"No, play Jazz Chord, Jazz Chord to say I wuv you.....

Which reminds me -

A Missionary group go to the darkest depths of Africa, on arrival they can constantly hear the beating of drums in the distance, thinking it is just a custom they ignore it, but these drums go on all day and all night and into the next morning.
One of the Missionary's goes to speak to the village Chief about the drums.
' When do these drums stop' enquired the Missionary.
' Drums never stop, very very very bad news if drums stop' replied the Chief.
' Really' replied the Missionary, 'So what would happen if the drums stopped?'
' Bass solo starts ' replied the Chief............

 

[eddieo]

I'm going to my shed to smoke a splif ... Made in Heaven!

Dooooon't Bogart thaaaaaat Joint my friend, passss it over toooooo meeeeee!

 

[neptune]

Years ago , in my lorry driving days, I was driving north through Yorkshire on the M1. This guy was thumbing a lift, to Scotland as it turned out. It quickly became apparent from his dialect that he was from Northern Ireland. After a while he tried to steer the conversation round to religion. I was having none of it, because, I know that in northern Ireland, religion can be a "difficult" subject. The conversation went like this .
Paddy. " So what religion are you?"

Me. "I am an Atheist,"

Paddy."What does that mean?"

Me. "It means that I do not believe in God."

Paddy. "Yes, yes, but is it the Protestant God, or the Catholic God that you don`t believe in?"

The ensuing silence lasted for 75 miles...

 

[flecc]

There's a certain logic there, not believing in someone/something is not to say they/it don't exist.

Safer perhaps to say "I don't believe in the existence of a god".