I am so sad......

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indalo

Banned
Sep 13, 2009
1,380
1
Herts & Spain
If I made a statement directed at a particular person, and that person did'nt like what I said about them, then that statement could be construed as bullying or harassment. The statement I made was not directed at any individual I was speaking in general terms therefore my post could never be construed as bullying or harassment.
You're really hammering home the message to Graeme by repeating your point, changing the words slightly. Could that not be construed by some as bullying?........I jest, of course.

Indalo
 

tillson

Esteemed Pedelecer
May 29, 2008
5,253
3,197
In what way am I the boss? I have no authority in here having rejected offers of admin rights, and I recently thankfully lost the previous title of pedelec guru which I'd always disliked.

I'm an ordinary member and express my opinions for others to accept or reject. Maybe you didn't like mine on this occasion and that's fine by me, it's your absolute right.

But no call for a jibe, surely?

You are the boss, sort of. Without wanting to sound like a sycophant, your length of membership, number of posts and breadth knowledge command a level of respect that many other members don't enjoy. Some will disagree, but many more will agree with me. Sometimes I want to disagree with what you say, but very often and quite annoyingly I know that you are absolutely correct. When you get those little voices inside your head, one telling you one thing, the other something else, your comments always side with the common sense voice and what I really want to do ends up being out-voted 2:1.

Your influence even extends into my workplace. Colleagues have looked over my shoulder at, "Pedaldicks" and have read your posts on technical, moral and just about every other type of issue. So whenever there is a difficult decision to be made or we are in a deteriorating situation, someone always says, "what would flecc do". That's not meant to be in anyway derogatory, flecc is used as a by-word for reason and common sense.

So, like it or not, you are the boss. You've earned it and will have to live with it. (and Guru in my opinion)
 
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flecc

Member
Oct 25, 2006
53,604
30,874
Your influence even extends into my workplace. Colleagues have looked over my shoulder at, "Pedaldicks" and have read your posts on technical, moral and just about every other type of issue. So whenever there is a difficult decision to be made or we are in a deteriorating situation, someone always says, "what would flecc do". That's not meant to be in anyway derogatory, flecc is used as a by-word for reason and common sense.
Now that really is worrying, perhaps I should abandon ship!

I know what you say is true and with different emphasis and perception of my intentions, Blew it alluded to this in an early post in this thread.

But what do I do? Pretend not to know what I know? Allow a wrong bit of information to be propagated? Be happy for another to say or imply that I'm an idiot? I think adopting any of those tends to indicate the last one might be right.

Blew it feels conceding is a good course at times to avoid rows, but this too often amounts to an allowance for the other to bully, the very thing I've been accused of for not conceding.

My frailties are no different from any other's, I too can feel such things as jealously, resentment or irritation when observing very high capabilities in others, but like you, I accept our human differences and am thankful there are more capable people since they benefit all of us. I expect that reaction from others too, so don't think concession should be practiced.
 

Graeme

Pedelecer
May 7, 2011
97
0
Monifieth, Dundee, Scotland
Brilliant! :)

when i first read this thread i was afraid, petrified, that i might be on the receiving end of bullying too if i dared make a comment, kept thinking i could never live on these forums again.
Nightmare without you (all) by my side.

But i spent so many nights thinking how that might be wrong that i learned to be strong.
I decided to carry on, posting my contributions, which essentially are made from what i have gleaned here anyway - sort of borrowed words.
And so (i might say) you're back.
From outer space.
I just logged in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face (which makes me uncomfortable, it really does).
I should have changed my stupid lock
i should have made you leave your key
if i had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

go on now go
walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think i'd crumble
you think i'd lay down and die
oh no, not i
i will survive
as long as i know how to love
i know i will stay alive
i've got all my life to live
i've got all my love to give
and i'll survive
i will survive

good old gloria.
 

Graeme

Pedelecer
May 7, 2011
97
0
Monifieth, Dundee, Scotland
If I made a statement directed at a particular person, and that person did'nt like what I said about them, then that statement could be construed as bullying or harassment. The statement I made was not directed at any individual I was speaking in general terms therefore my post could never be construed as bullying or harassment.
We'll have to agree to disagree, as your statement taken at face value is self contradictory. What I hear you say is, If people feel they are being bullied then they are being bullied - full stop - Which is clearly not true.
But hey, Let's move on...
 

lectureral

Esteemed Pedelecer
Apr 30, 2007
397
60
Suva, Fiji
We'll have to agree to disagree, as your statement taken at face value is self contradictory. What I hear you say is, If people feel they are being bullied then they are being bullied - full stop - Which is clearly not true.
But hey, Let's move on...
I'm with you, Graeme. The issue arose when the same approach was taken to the definition of racist actions. My view is that a purely subjective approach cannot be correct. If I say something which objectively cannot be viewed as bullying or racist by a (hypothetical) reasonable observer then merely because someone states that they perceived it as racist or bullying does not make it so.
 

oigoi

Esteemed Pedelecer
Apr 14, 2011
467
7
I'm with you, Graeme. The issue arose when the same approach was taken to the definition of racist actions. My view is that a purely subjective approach cannot be correct. If I say something which objectively cannot be viewed as bullying or racist by a (hypothetical) reasonable observer then merely because someone states that they perceived it as racist or bullying does not make it so.
I appreciate what you are saying Alistair, and I can see there is an error in my original statement - you could say something to someone without intending to offend them and then how could that be harassment? It couldn't. I think it is a question of intent - if what is said is negative and intended to belittle or demean the recipient then it is harassment or bullying.

I enjoy reading about forum members experiences and a lot is done here to help people out. I don't think there is any need in getting into slanging matches, it doesn't do anything constructive for any of us.

There is no need for "mine's better than yours" competitiveness. People get touchy about that and its understandable - if you had worked hard to buy yourself a nice ebike you were very proud of and someone slags it off you would understandably be a bit touchy about it.

I have never felt the need to slag off other peoples personal possessions, I really don't see the point!

I enjoy being part of discussions here an saying my tuppence worth. Some of you may agree with things I say, some of you may think I am nuts, but I try to make a positive contribution. If you dont agree with me thats fine, I respect your opinion.
 

lemmy

Esteemed Pedelecer
This is the most bizarre thread I've ever come across. It veers from Mills and Boon sentimentality to stags locking antlers.

Bur when I look for the basis of the thread, I feel disappointed. It reminds me of how disappointed I was when Mary Whitehouse explained what a hothouse of pornography and unbridled eroticism BBC programs were. I looked out for the stuff she'd advertised but couldn't find any evidence of it, much to my annoyance. I'd have paid double my licence fee if it were true.

Ditto this. Where is all this bullying? We can't base an adult medium like a forum around shrinking violets. Flecc the capo di tutti capi? Hardly. He sounds like a bloke with strong opinions usually based around some kind of logic (note the usually) or empirical knowledge. Don't agree with him? Say so. Eddieo a bully? Really? Have any of the folk saying this ever met a real bully?

If the aim of some is to prove how sensitive and vulnerable they are, get a job as an art critic. If you want to ride and talk about electric bikes, just get on with it and stop complaining. If a few words you don't like bring you down so easily, how will you deal with a car driver whose main aim in life is to to kill you?
 

oigoi

Esteemed Pedelecer
Apr 14, 2011
467
7
I agree with a lot of what you say Lemmy and you have given me a chuckle. I just think it is a loss to all of us when people leave the forum over disagreements and slanging matches.

If it was just a free for all and people just said what they wanted about anyone else on the forum, without any regard for the feelings of others, then you would reach a point where the only people left here were the very thick skinned ones and the loss in forum members would be a shame.
 

Graeme

Pedelecer
May 7, 2011
97
0
Monifieth, Dundee, Scotland
I agree with a lot of what you say Lemmy and you have given me a chuckle. I just think it is a loss to all of us when people leave the forum over disagreements and slanging matches.

If it was just a free for all and people just said what they wanted about anyone else on the forum, without any regard for the feelings of others, then you would reach a point where the only people left here were the very thick skinned ones and the loss in forum members would be a shame.
I agree oigoi, I respect your views and your contributions to the forum, look forward to picking your brains on issues in the future.
But it is a 'choice' they make to leave.
However, it is up to the rest of us to monitor the forum and give the odd PM when we feel things may be getting out of hand.
Insults, or being ignored, or whatever would never make me leave this forum.
I would not leave because of one or two or three people, whoever 'they' may be. There is an absolute wealth of information and not to say entertainment value here! I read the Pro Connect feels rough thread yesterday. I don't have a PC, and I have little knowledge of the finer points of bike engineering (no surprise there eh eddieo?) but I was amazed at the sharing of experience and knowledge. everyone who contributed from the very experienced to the rookie were treated with respect and given a hearing, brilliant. Now wouldn't it great if all threads were conducted like that?...but unfortunately this is planet earth, and this is 'the' e-bike forum so lets make the best of it.
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
Oh, and talking of Entertainment, do you remember Hazel O'Connor?
Great Saxophone, and a nice note for me to end on! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07sL2kjJqc4&feature=related
OMG Graeme.....I honestly cannot thankyou enough for that link and reminder of that amazing song.....I loved it and the sax with a passion, cant believe I allowed myself to forget it, its going on my iPod now.
So today I will mainly be listening to hazel O'connor as a little change from Adele.....

Thankyou thankyou

Lynda
 

flecc

Member
Oct 25, 2006
53,604
30,874
Flecc the capo di tutti capi? Hardly. He sounds like a bloke with strong opinions usually based around some kind of logic (note the usually) or empirical knowledge. Don't agree with him? Say so.
Absolutely! If you don't agree as Lemmy shows he doesn't at times with that "usually" remark, say so, but equally be prepared for a defence where appropriate.

In this case it's not, Lemmy being fully entitled to have his own opinion on what constitutes logic. I can't tell him what opinion to have in such matters.
 

Graeme

Pedelecer
May 7, 2011
97
0
Monifieth, Dundee, Scotland
There is fact, and there's opinion, and that's a fact, in my opinion, or is it a fact whether it's my opinion or not...? Yes a fact is a fact for aw that. :)
Anyway, values are important to people and if what one values is completely trashed by others on the basis of opinion or arrogance or assumed superiority or whatever, IMO that's not good. But we don't always know where to draw the line...and that's a fact.
 

eddieo

Banned
Jul 7, 2008
5,070
6
Is if fact or opinion that a BMW is better then a Ford?

I would say it was a fact....
 

Graeme

Pedelecer
May 7, 2011
97
0
Monifieth, Dundee, Scotland
Is if fact or opinion that a BMW is better then a Ford?

I would say it was a fact....
Debatable! ;-) Depends what you mean by 'better'...better fuel consumption, or better insurance costs or...engineering and finish and dependability...the list goes on.
The point is if I as a Mercedes owner trash BMW's in an arrogant manner and don't see how on earth anyone could see how a BMW could be anywhere near as good as my Merc, and then begin to trash 'them' because they like BMW's, and I belittle 'them' and present as fact my opinion of their 'pathetic little thoughts'...then Huston, we have a problem...'in my opinion'...
 

funkylyn

Esteemed Pedelecer
Feb 22, 2011
3,172
27
South Shields, Tyne & Wear
Debatable! ;-) Depends what you mean by 'better'...better fuel consumption, or better insurance costs or...engineering and finish and dependability...the list goes on.
The point is if I as a Mercedes owner trash BMW's in an arrogant manner and don't see how on earth anyone could see how a BMW could be anywhere near as good as my Merc, and then begin to trash 'them' because they like BMW's, and I belittle 'them' and present as fact my opinion of their 'pathetic little thoughts'...then Huston, we have a problem...'in my opinion'...
It certainly does depend on......
Although I am a passionate mercedes convert/owner , I have to say that for driving up mountains and river beds in spain, whilst working there, that a Ford Granada was the best for me at that time and I look back on my many years as a granada owner with great affection......

And whilst doing my milk round many years ago....my VW pick up was best for me at that time as the rear engine allowed me to drive through fairly deep water whilst crossing the causeway to Holy Island.....
Horses for courses.....even when they are 'water courses' :D :D

Lynda
 
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